Cuntspangle

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Ever noticed that the most expressive insults are ones involving the genital area?

Today I read a new one ‘knob-headed cuntspangle’. Knob-headed I can visualize very easily. I just have to picture Nigel Farage – to rhyme with the northern way of saying garage(garridge). His entire being screams knob-head and a stinking cheesy one at that. So, what’s with cuntspangle? What’s so nasty about a cunt or a spangle? Spangles were lovely fruity sweeties when I was a little girl. So cuntspangle calls to mind a picture of a rather lovely fruity tasting foof. Maybe they’ll sell them in Boots or Superdrug to accompany a vajazzle you could insert a fruity treat into the old vag as a nice little surprise for your partner?

I’ve recently embraced the word cunt in its full awesome amazing power and it baffles me how it can ever be used in a detrimental way. I suppose calling someone a diseased cunt would be more appropriate but seriously thundercunt, cuntpuffin and cuntbutler? How are they even possible in language?

The first time I encountered the word cunt was in ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ where DH Lawrence embraces the passion and power of lady-bits. So to hear and read the word used, as an insult some years later was a bit un-nerving and confusing. I have fully embraced my cunt over the years and I mean that literally, not in a Betty Dodson sitting around with mirrors in a group wank therapy sort of way but instead I have a full appreciative respect for that part of my body. Ok, so once a month it feels like it’s trying to kill me with the ferocity of a million white-hot crochet hooks but apart from that it’s served me well. My incredible cunt has pushed out two reasonably well-adjusted small humans and it has afforded me some great sex (with others and on my own).

This isn’t some sort of ‘Vagina Monologue’ by the way. If you feel that I’m being shocking for the sake of shock you’re very wrong. I honestly believe in the power of words and I just wish we English speaking humans could be a bit more inventive with our ways of being insulting.

So, why the cunt-driven rant today? Well……I have been called a cunt by a whole load of people, quite a few times this week already because of my ‘loonie lefty tree hugging’ political views. As some of you may know the UK is having a referendum on our membership to the European Union. The campaign to leave seems to have been hi-jacked by some of the most obnoxious racist bigoted piles of elephant shit it is possible to meet. I genuinely hope I never do meet any of people who are associated with these far right organisations. I use the term organization loosely because they’re more like a moronic rabble of school bullies with all the charisma of dead slugs. The out of the EU campaign have tapped into the deepest fears of some of the population and exploited those fears to gain ground in their campaign. It doesn’t take much research and the engagement of half a braincell is enough to find out some basic facts about immigration, human rights, housing, welfare and health care in the UK. Strip away the political agendas of the lefts, the rights or the middle ground thinkers and it seems pretty obvious to me that we gain far more by being an inclusive nation than building a bloody wall. I have no desire to ‘Take Back Britain’. Take it back from what? The rose tinted bullshit splattered spectacles of nostalgia really do cover the dark recent history of the UK. You know, things like high infant mortality rates, no National Health Service, no minimum wage, no employment rights (which are being gradually eroded as it is and if you think those rights don’t apply to you, you’re obviously in the privileged position of having a secure job and a really decent boss, lucky you. I just hope you never get sick, lose your job or require legal aid).

Yes of course our schools, hospitals and public services are over stretched, and why is that? It’s because of the lack of fucking funding and no forward planning. I may be taking a simplistic view here, but instead of dropping a shit load of bombs on people thousands of miles away, why not stop doing that, take that money instead and invest it in the building of more hospitals and schools? Ah yes, wait; of course, then we’d need more trained healthcare professionals and teachers. So yeh, lets just blame the immigrants who come over here and work in our hospitals, teach in our universities, contribute towards our economy and enrich our tiny island in more ways than can ever be counted. And of course I’m not saying all humans who land on our shores are perfect, that would be stupid. I’m not perfect, even my fantastic husband who has been on the receiving end of my political fury this week is not perfect but come on, to go around blaming every single non-British person for all of the UK’s shortcomings is doing an incredible disservice to our home grown arseholes, of which I have met many. Thankfully though I know more lovely people than the stench puking bumhole kind.

Yes I am fizzing with anger as you can tell. I’m pissed off that any sensible debate on a very big issue such as The EU Referendum has been polarized by the media and politicians. The hatred and bile being vomited from the mouths of Britain First, EDL, National Front et al is absolutely frightening. Even more horrifying is that Jo Cox MP for Batley and Spen was killed for being a passionate vocal advocate of human rights. The murderer self identified as being a fully paid up member of several violent racist organisations and targeted Jo Cox purely because she stuck her head above the crowd and championed people with no voice in this world.

What a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that freedom of speech does not mean freedom to preach hate – and by I hate I mean ANY ideology or belief which advocates violence and murder to achieve its aim.

So I  will continue to be called a cuntspangle, cuntpuffin, thundercunt and wafflecunt in the coming weeks months and years and I will pity the people who call me such because they clearly do not understand how awesomely powerful and lovely a cunt can be.

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